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Scene 66
The Christening of Soloman Grundy

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  Today we did christen Solomon Grundy . He was borned a week ago yesterday on Monday. That's why we did name him Solomon Grundy. And this being Tuesday we did christen him, for in the rhyme, the grandpa does sing to the children about Solomon Grundy being christened on Tuesday. Yesterday I made him a christening robe out of a new dishtowel that was flapping in the wind. But the aunt had no appreciation of the great need of a christening robe for Solomon Grundy. And my ears were slapped until I thought my head would pop open, but it didn't. It just ached. Last night when I went to bed I prayed for the ache to go away. This morning when I woke up it had gone out the window. I did feel good feels from my nightcap to my toes.
  I thought about the christening, and early on this morning, before I yet did eat my breakfast, I went out the window that the ache went out in the night. I went from the window to the pig-pen . I climbed into the pig-pen. I crawled on my hands and knees back under the shed where he and his sisters five and his little brother were all having breakfast from their mother. I gently did pull away by his hind legs, from among all those dear baby pigs, he who had the most curl in his tail.
  I took him to the pump and pumped water on him to get every speck of dirt off. He squealed because the water was cold. So I took some of the warm water the mamma was going to wash the milk pans in and I did give him a warm bath in the washpan. Then he was the pinkiest white pig you ever saw. I took the baby's talcum powder can and I shook it lots of times all over him. When the powder sprinkled in his eyes, he did object with a regular baby-pig squeal. And I climbed right out the bedroom window with him, coming fast. I did go to the barn in a hurry, for in the barn yesterday I did hide the christening robe . When I reached the top of the hay I stopped to put it on Solomon Grundy . Then we proceeded to the cathedral .
  A little ways we did go, and I remembered how on the borning day of him I did ask that grand fir tree, Good King Edward I , to be his god-father. And that smaller fir tree growing by his side -- the lovely Queen Eleanor of Castile -- I did ask to be his godmother. We went aside from the path that leads unto the cathedral . We went another way. We went adown the lane to where dwell Good King Edward I and the lovely Queen Eleanor. And there beside them Solomon Grundy was christened. They who were present at the christening were these -- Saint Louis and Charlemagne and Hugh Capet and King Alfred and Theodore Roosevelt and William Wordsworth and Homer and Cicero and Brave Horatius and Isaiah . These last two did arrive in a hurry in the midst of the service. Being dogs with understanding souls , they did realize the sacredness of the occasion and they stood silent near Charlemagne.
  When we got most to the end of the service just at that very solemn moment while I was waiting for Good King Edward I and his lovely Queen Eleanor of Castile to bestow their blessing upon the white head of the babe, he gave a squeal - - just the kind of a squeal all baby pigs give when they are wanting their dinner. After the naming of him, I placed around his neck a little wreath that I made in the evening yesterday for him. Then I did sing softly a hymn to the morning and came again home to the pig-pen with Solomon Grundy .
  When I got to the corner of the barn, I pulled off his christening robe . I did hide it again in the hay. Then I climbed into the pig-pen . I did say the Lord's prayer softly over the head of Solomon Grundy . After I said Amen I did poke him in among all his sisters and near unto his mother. Aphrodite gave a grunt of satisfaction, also did Solomon Grundy.
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